I want you
by endless stories29
Summary: This is a story of Clarke saving Lexa in 3.07 and then them going on to live happily ever after, well thats the plan anyways. stay tuned :) please always feel free to review!
1. Chapter 1

Lexa stood in her room thinking about what had just happened between her and Clarke. She wished more than anything that Clarke could stay with her at Polis, she needed to know that she would be safe. The rising hate coming towards the sky people compromised Clarkes safety and Lexa couldn't think about anything else other than what could happen to Clarke outside of Polis walls. Sitting on her bed, Lexa is continuing to think about Clarke. She wishes that she would have said that she loves Clarke when she had the chance. Now, she doesn't know when the next time she will see her will be. Tears flood Lexa's eyes as she lets her emotions overwhelm her. She knew she couldn't just let Clarke leave, not yet. Clarke staying on this side of the blockade is actually more beneficial than she had previously thought. With Clarke inside Polis walls, her and Lexa could continue to persuade the other ambassadors of their new ways. Lexa was smart and had the wisdom of all the commanders before her, but she knew in her own heart that blood must not have blood was the best thing to keep the changed world at peace. Something that the past commanders haven't had to deal with was invaders from another land who used different weapons to fight and could easily wipe out the entire populations of the twelve clans. Even though it was against Titus's wishes, Lexa knew this new way had to be enforced. With all this in mind, the thought of Clarke came rushing back and she felt a sense of terror that she would never see Clarke again. Even if she still wasn't able to convince Clarke to stay with her in Polis, she had to tell Clarke that she loved her. She couldn't make the mistake of letting her go again. Lexa jumped off her bed and ran out of her room, making her way down the hall to Clarkes room, praying that she hasn't left yet. The sound of her heart is pounding so loud ion her ears that she can't hear all the commotion going on behind Clarkes doors. With a large smile on her face, she pushes the doors open, only to be stopped in her tracks by a bang, a shock in her body making the world around her stop, and a faint soft voice of "Lexa".

 **Lol so I know that fanfiction is dead or whatever but im still super emo about Lexa's death and thought I would write about what should have happened (aka her living). So enjoy some happiness I guess XD**


	2. Chapter 2

When Lexa ran into that room and was stopped in her tracks by the bullet, she didn't even feel pain. Her first emotion was shock, then terror as she soon realized what fate had just fallen upon her. As soon as she looked back up from the seeping red spot on her shirt, she met her dilated eyes with Clarkes. That was the moment she felt loss. Loss of life, loss of emotion, and most importantly, the loss of Clarke. The cycle through those three emotions seemed like an eternity to Lexa; all time had stopped. It wasn't until she fell into Clarkes arms that time began to pick up to an unmeasurable speed. Her ears were ringing, and she could hear the muffled sound of Titus's overwhelming number of apologies and the high pitch cracks that came from Clarkes broken voice. Lexa's eyes darted around the room as Titus and Clarke lay her on the bed and she feels a source of pressure as Clarke pushes her hands-on weeping wound. Her hearing came back to her with full force, almost better than it was before she was laying on her deathbed.

"Stay with me" Clarke pleaded though sobs.

All Lexa could do was muster up a nod. Then the pain hit her, and tears poured out her eyes, but she seemed to have lost her voice and couldn't scream. Lexa could feel the blood on her back that had dripped off her abdomen and soaked into the sheets. She thought that this was the end. That she would never be able to say her feelings to Clarke or share another kiss. Now she understood, death actually was the end. An end to the love, happiness, and peace she had found with Clarke. Lexa began to shake as Clarke dug her hand into Lexa's flesh to remove the bullet.

"Come on, I can't lose you. Not like this." Clarke sounded angry now. Angry at Titus, angry at the world, and angry at Lexa for having stormed back into her room. As Clarkes fingers grasped around the bullet and yanked it out, Lexa found her voice and screamed as loud as she could. Clarke through the bullet on the ground with a loud clank. Titus, feeling doubtful about Clarkes medical performance pulled out the box for the flame along with the tools for its removal.

"Put those away!" Clarke screamed at him, "You're not taking her away from me!"

Lexa felt the tears that had dripped down from Clarkes cheek on her chest as Clarke turned back to look at her.

"Clarke…" Lexa said softly.

"shhhh. Don't talk, it's going to be okay… you're going to be okay." Clarke replied.

"The commanders were wrong Clarke, love isn't weakness." Lexa said ignoring Clarke, "You showed me that it's strength. I just wanted to say.." Lexa began fading out, "… that I will always love…" Lexa's voice, hearing and vison faded into to a curtain of black as she lost consciousness.

 **Don't worry this is not the end! Tell me how you like it so far!**


	3. Chapter 3

In this state of unconsciousness, time didn't exist. Lexa couldn't exactly tell how long she's been gone and quite frankly, she never knew if she would come back. She had been living in a constant cycle of her memories playing over in her head. She saw her childhood and her parent's death. She relived the moments in which she met and then lost Costia. She looked back on her conclave and reminiscing on the other officiates who she had beat to come into power. Lastly, she thought of Clarke. Before everything went black and the series of memories started again, she remembered the girl she left behind. While Lexa was pretty sure that she was dead, her soul was still able to feel even stronger emotions then she felt when she was alive. With every play of the constant memory cycle, the more Lexa began to feel. Her sorrow and guilt deepened with every cycle, knowing she has to forever live with what she's done. Her love for Clarke consumed her to unbearable amounts; ripping her heart out at the realization that all Clarke will ever be to her now is a thought on loop. She would scream and cry for help, wanting to be awoken from this intolerable sleep, but no one came to help. Lexa had never understood what it was like to feel so alone. When she was alive, she thought that maybe she would end up in the city of light with the commanders that came prior to her. Maybe then, she wouldn't feel so isolated. If going to the city of light was to be all the commander's fates, then why wasn't it hers? Perhaps, maybe she wasn't dead and maybe Clarke saved her after all; or perhaps not since she changed the only way her people knew and gave herself a new legacy of peace rather than vengeance. This could just be the past commanders punishing her for her actions and punishing her for love. If that was to be true, no matter how oppressive her new forever would be, Lexa wouldn't change any minute of her time spent on the ground. While her time with Clarke was short, she's never learned more from one person in her life. Clarke taught her patience, compromise, and most importantly peace. Titus thought all these new-found traits would get her killed, but she knew he was wrong, and she wishes that she could show him that. A few more loops played over before they all the sudden stopped and was replaced with her thoughts. No longer the thoughts she had before death, but new thoughts. Wondering where she was, what happened to her, and why couldn't she open her eyes. Slowly, it felt as if her ears were opening up and she could hear the faint sound of a fire crackle. She regained feeling back started in her toes, then her fingers; her body was soon consumed by warmth as she felt her blood pump through her veins. She stayed in this state a while before she felt like she was able to move. The moment that she mustered up enough strength to slightly move her index finger, she quickly felt a hand rush to grab hers.

"Lexa?" She heard a familiar voice say. Still unable to speak, the only recognition she could provide the voice was with a squeeze of the hand. Sobs of relief erupted from Clarke, who Lexa knew was the one beside her and had been the entire time she was gone.

 **Thanks for reading, how are you all liking it so far?**


	4. Chapter 4

Lexa, still not in a full state of consciousness, felt the warmth of Clarkes hand in hers. She wished that she could just open her eyes, even for just a second. A second to replace the last image of Clarke that she had. Now afraid she would stay in this new-found state of half consciousness, Lexa couldn't bare knowing that the last image of Clarke she had would be her completely broken. Right before Lexa faded away, she only focused on the sorrow that filled the eyes of Clarke. Clarkes tears and colors of her eyes mixed together to form an ocean tide. A tide of anger, loss, and sorrow. All of those three emotions came together as Clarke quickly realized that she would have to carry the burden of Lexa leaving her so soon. This tide of emotions that she saw in Clarkes eyes, ripped through Lexa, breaking her apart and sending her into an eternity of deprivation. The last tearful memory of Clarke rushed through her with such force that it replaced all the light she used to see in Clarkes eyes. This tide of agony deprived Lexa of seeing the never-ending peace and security that Clarke radiated to her every day. Lexa saw a Clarke that she was pretty sure no one had seen before. Much like herself, Clarke rarely let down her walls to let herself feel. Lexa could tell that Clarke let Lexa in as much as Lexa let Clarke in. That's what made Lexa fall in love with Clarke; she saw herself in her. Lexa imagines that's why Clarke loves her too. That kind of love is a once in a lifetime and if Lexa was still alive, she knew she wouldn't find it with anyone else but Clarke. Everything always pointed back to Clarke, she was the one thing in her life that made the most sense and she lost her. Lexa lost Clarke to her own death, something that an apology or recommunication can't fix. Lexa was gone forever, but she couldn't accept it. She knew that there had to be more; her and Clarkes story can't be over, and it won't end like this. With this last thought, Lexas' eyes burst open and a gasp for air sent her upper body flying forward, bringing her to a seating position. Her lungs kept searching for more and more air and she started panting and brought her hand to rest upon her chest. It was then that she remembered that her other hand was still holding on to Clarkes. Lexas' breathing calmed at the familiar feeling she felt in her occupied hand. Lexa was scared to turn around, scared to look at Clarke because what if it wasn't real? Lexa couldn't bear the thought of Clarke being victim to her imagination once more. Clarke must have known how timid Lexa was because she just sat there not making any sudden movements; just in awe that Lexa was actually alive. Slowly Lexa turned around to find Clarke staring back at her with her same blue tear-filled eyes. Expect this time Clarkes ocean tide of tears wasn't filled with anger or loss, it was filled with bliss and optimism, something else Lexa deeply missed. They stared at each other for a long while, both unbelieving of this strange new reality. Everything changed once again as ocean blue met forest green.

 **Finally she woke up! Sorry the upload took a while; should I continue?**


	5. Chapter 5

Lexa stared at Clarke for just a few moments, but it felt like an eternity. An eternity that Lexa wanted and hoped that would stay with her in case she woke up from the dream she thought she was in. Lexa began to study every inch of Clarke more deeply than she had in the past; she wanted to remember the overwhelming amount of happiness that had creeped on Clarkes face.

"Lexa?" The sound of Clarkes faint voice rippled through Lexa's ears. It reminded her of the last time Clarke said her name; A time where Clarke had thought it be the last night they would ever spend together. Clarkes voice still sounded broken and still longed for Lexa's voice in response.

"Am I really here?" Lexa spoke, surprised by the sound of her own voice. Her voice was no longer just a thought in her head, it was real and could now be heard. Heard by Clarke, who she wanted to talk to all along. Clarke nodded as a tear fell onto her cheek. Lexa still in disbelief of her arrival back to life, took a moment to scan her surroundings. She was still on the same bed she had died on, she took her hand away from her chest and the other one away from Clarke to feel her dried blood under her. She heard the fire crackle once more and shot her gaze up towards it then to the window noticing darkness covered the sky. How long was she gone? Was it only the next night or was it the next week? Taking her eyes away from the window, she scanned over the room once more, slowly bringing her eyes back to Clarke. Clarke, who Lexa has felt she has been avoiding, because what if the moment she collided with Clarke everything faded away, leaving Lexa to be taken back to an eternity of loneliness. Lexa was content with just keeping Clarke in her presence, like a piece of art at a museum; she could look all she wanted but would she dare touch? Lexa began to think about how Clarke must have felt. Clarke must have felt a different kind of alone. A feeling that no matter how many people she surrounded herself with, her body was an empty shell that she couldn't fill. Before Lexa let tears fill in her eyes, the left side of her mouth curled up into a half smile as she looked at Clarke. Realizing the weight that Lexa felt in her body, the sensations on her skin and the new forming thoughts in her mind, Lexa accepted the fact that she was alive. Alive and breathing because the love of her life and the very girl in front of her had saved her life. Lexa held on to this feeling of existence and grasped on to the idea that she was given a second chance. Another chance to do what she failed to do the first time. With that, Lexa still shyly half smiling held her gaze with Clarkes.

"I love you."

 **God how I wish this actually happened. More to come, xoxo!**


	6. Chapter 6

Lexa, once again taken aback by her own voice, saying those three little words she never thought she would say. She heard the slight gasp that erupted from Clarkes slightly parted lips when Lexa told Clarke what she had been aching to hear. Lexa watched Clarkes body crumble before her as those eight letters sunk into her soul, breaking every sort of wall Clarke had formed. It was the most dazzling sight Lexa ever glimpsed upon; Clarke had never looked more gorgeous. Lexa, now realizing the pain that throbbed in her abdomen from sitting upright for so long, pushed through it. She, with few slight grunts from the pain and the rush of Clarkes hand to hers, stood up off the bed. Her hand was still in Clarkes while she turned to face Clarke who was still sitting in the chair next to the bed. Lexa took a deep breath and kneeled before Clarke much like the time after the sky people had been accepted as the thirteenth clan. Lexa moved her hand up to Clarkes face and wiped away the hot tears streaming down Clarkes face. Lexa could tell that Clarke was unaware of these tears; they had become a part of Clarkes cheek ever since Lexa had passed. The light from the fire casted a shadow over Clarkes face, reminding Lexa that it was night and the stars belonged only to them. None of the duties that would return to her as the commander worried her, all she could focus on was Clarke. Lexa now knew what death meant, it was something that isn't normally reversed. She felt as if death is something everyone should experience; it opens eyes. Opens eyes to what we are taking advantage of in life, time. Time which is so wasted with fear and Lexa wasn't going to be afraid anymore. She is going to tell Clarke that she loves her enough times for both of her lifetimes.

"I love you so…" Lexa began but was swiftly cut off by Clarke cupping her face and pulling it to hers. Lexa raised her eyebrows while her heart felt the purest sense of fulfillment. She never imagined that she would be able to kiss Clarke again; this surreal feeling excited and scarfed Lexa all at once. Lexa's lip trembled with each kiss but was calmed with the slight touch of Clarkes. The sensation of Clarkes lips on hers vibrated throughout her whole body, a vibration she couldn't control. This vibration made Lexa feel more alive than she's ever felt, and she couldn't get enough of it. Lexa deepened the kiss, savoring every part of the it. Clarke pulled back from the kiss, keeping their foreheads together but looking at the ground as the slight sound of sobs escaped her mouth.

"I can't believe you're really here" Clarke managed to say through her sobs, "how are you here?" Clarke silently questioned to herself but load enough that Lexa was able to hear. "I waited for you, for days, but you never woke up" Clarke choked, "I wanted to leave...I…I couldn't bare the sight of you like that, but I couldn't leave you alone. I couldn't abandon you, not… not when I was the one that got you killed." The last phrase shot through Lexa's heart, hurting her more than the bullet to her abdomen.

"Clarke… you didn't kill me, you saved me. I am here because of you. Even in death all that was there, was you; you've saved me in every sense of the word." Lexa could tell that this was something that Clarke's been battling with internally ever sense Lexa passed. She wanted to ease Clarkes pain by letting her know that none of it was Clarkes fault, but Lexa knew that was something Clarke would have to realize on her own. Lexa would feel the same if the roles were reversed.

"Swear to me you'll never leave again." Clarke trembled pulling her head away from Lexa's, their eyes meeting once again.

"I swear fealty to you, Clarke kom skaikru" Lexa began, still kneeling and remembering a similar moment like this one from before, "I vow to love you infinitely and to stand by your side for all of eternity."

 **I'm having so much fun writing this story! Give me your feedback or any suggestions on where I should take it next, xoxo!**


	7. Chapter 7

Lexa woke up the next morning with the sun in her face, and her eyes strained from not seeing that bright of light for so long. She winced and quickly covered her eyes, accidentally hitting Clarke who was asleep next to her. Clarke, who she remembered, was real and not an image in her head. Lexa wondered how long she had been asleep because she didn't remember going to bed. Lexa looked up at the celling, trying to avoid the ray of light that was still shining directly at her. Finally, she caved, grunting in annoyance as she hobbled over to the window to close the curtain. Clarke was still sleeping, and it calmed Lexa to see her so peaceful. Clarke probably hasn't gotten a restful sleep since Lexa died, which she still didn't know how long ago it was. She lied back on the bed, careful not to wake Clarke. Stuck in her thoughts until Clarke wakes up, Lexa noticed that Clarke was the only person who knew she was alive. No one had come into the room the whole night or even this morning; Lexa was dead to everyone and it seems the only one who hadn't moved on was Clarke. The thought of Clarke lamenting alone pained Lexa, did no one care to at least check on her? Lexa wondered if people came to her bed to grieve or if they simply moved on to choosing the next commander. Surely, not a lot of people were happy with her actions leading up to her death, but she hoped people still cared. She sacrificed so much, too much, to be the commander for it all to be thrown away. She was curious what this new "life" would bring to her as the commander. Would she even still be the commander? This has never happened before so in this case there is no past example for her people to follow. She was also curious to what this new "life" with Clarke would be like, surely Lexa wasn't going to let her go ever again, not unless Clarke wanted to leave. There was a little part of Lexa that wanted it to be just her and Clarke; to not have to worry about their people. Maybe their someday was closer than they previously thought. Lexa wanted to run away with Clarke, but she also knew that would be her most selfish act. Lexa knew that she was the most important person to Clarke, it showed true ever since she was shot, but she also knew that Clarkes people were equally important. Important to her in a different way and Lexa deeply admired Clarkes leadership and vulnerability when it came to her people. Leading Skaikru is what Clarke was born to do and it would be selfish of Lexa to take that away from her. Lexa loved her people as well and her life's duty is to protect them, but she would be lying if she said they didn't cause her a great deal of pain. She doesn't want to listen to Titus's teachings anymore about how she should be alone and how she shouldn't stray from the past commanders' doings. Quite frankly, if her people are feeling the same way then they don't really respect her and see her as their superior. Meeting Clarke broadened Lexa's future and it would broaden her people's future as well, if they would only just listen. Lexa was told since she was small and training for her conclave that to be a great leader she needed without a lover. Looking over at Clarke, filled with dreams in her restful sleep, Lexa was determined to have both.

 **I will forever have faith that Lexa will rise in the show, there is no way that their fight is over. I will simply not accept it. That's what I thought about the whole time I wrote this chapter, hope you are liking the story! Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

Clarke stirred in her sleep, lying on her stomach and turning her head to face Lexa. Lexa turned to face Clarke just as she opened her groggy eyes. She watched Clarkes face light up and her lips curl into a smile as the fog cleared from her newly woken eyes and she realized who was lying right beside her. The little bit of light that shone through the holes of the curtains fell upon Clarke, casting some of her features in a shadow and brightening the others.

"You're beautiful" Lexa mused, and Clarke's smile grew wider. Lexa noticed that Clarke was studying her face; creating a picture in her mind that she would forever keep in case she was to lose her again. Clarke moved her eyes down the rest of Lexa's body and jumped up in panic.

"I need to change your bandages!" She exclaimed, hoping out of bed and rushing over to the first aid supplies that was sitting in the corner of the room. Lexa sat up and looked down at her stomach, just now noticing that she hadn't changed from what she was wearing when she died. She could see the previously white bandage, now soaked black from her blood.

"I changed it every night" Clarke began, "I was in such shock that you were alive that I completely forgot." Clarke walked back over the Lexa, "lie down" she added. Lexa did as she was told, her face scrunched up from the slight pain in her abdomen when she did so. Lexa watched her as Clarke started changing the bandages.

"With a wound like this, it's very difficult with the tools we have to stitch up and stop it from bleeding. We will be better off letting it heal on its own which will take some more time than it already has, but for now patching it up is all we can do." Clarke stated. Lexa admired how smart Clarke was, it seemed as if Clarke was born to do many things with her life; leading her people and saving lives was just the beginning.

"Clarke, exactly how long was I.. gone?" Lexa wondered. She could see the expression on Clarkes face change instantly. Clarke stopped what she was doing and blankly stared down at her blood-soaked hands, reminding her of the time when she had to save the love of her life with little to no hope that she actually would. A few tears started forming in Clarkes eyes as she remembered the life altering feeling of losing the person you love most in the world.

"Three days." Only three days, Lexa pondered. For Lexa it had felt like an eternity. A span of time so large that she had forgotten how it felt to be alive.

"It felt like so much longer than that" Lexa spoke.

"I know." Clarke softly agreed. They both looked at each with uneasy faces until Clarke returned to her work. "There all finished" Clarke added, her face still set with a gloomy emotion. With a soft hand, Lexa caressed Clarkes chin then slightly grabbed it to pull her eyes up towards Lexa.

"Thank you." Lexa knew this is what Clarke needed to hear. She didn't just mean thank you for changing her bandages right now, she meant thank you for saving her life. Clarke closed her eyes and sighed in relief and with that Lexa knew Clarke understood what she meant. Clarke got back on the bed and lie back down next to Lexa, allowing herself more time until she would have to give notice of Heda's return. Lexa was still lying on her back, eyes looking up at the ceiling while Clarke lay on her side, facing Lexa.

"What was it like?" Clarke asked Lexa wondering what she'd experienced in those three days.

"It was mainly a loop of my own memories that went on and on. I didn't end up in the city of light, so I don't think I was actually ever dead." Lexa answered.

"Were you scared?"

"Not for myself. During the loop I was filled with emotions stronger than the ones I felt when I was alive. I felt guilt for what happened to Costia and I felt excitement from my conclave after I had been announced Heda. Then you came in and I felt this overwhelming sense of loss and fear. I had to watch your face over and over as you watched me die. It's something I'll never forget. So, I never felt scared for me, I felt scared for you. I hated leaving you alone and leaving you like that. I was always worried about you." Lexa took a deep breath and looked over at Clarke who was holding back tears. Before Clarke could speak there was a knock at the door and she shot off the bed and hurried over to it. When she opened the door, Lexa couldn't see who it was but knew it was Titus by his voice.

"Clarke, I'm sorry to tell you this but it's time to take her away and do a proper burial so she can rest with the past commanders." Titus sternly spoke. Lexa sat up, clenching her teeth as she did so to get a look at Titus. She watched as Titus's eyes widened and his face fill with uncertainty and fear.

"Heda?"

 **Thanks for reading! Don't exactly know what direction I want to take Heda's return in yet, but just stick around to find out! xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

Titus pushed past Clarke, eyes still widened with fear as though he had just seen a ghost. He stopped in his tracks, at a mid-way distance between the door and the bed. His hands lightly shook as he brought them up to his face to cover his mouth, still filled with fright.

"How can it be" He whispered in his hands. Lexa never broke eye contact with him since he entered the room. She was furious, her jaw clenched. Clarke still stood by the door way, unsure of what to do and just continuously watched their encounter.

"Heda, it is really you" Titus said through overdramatized sobs and broke eye contact with Lexa as his eyes fell to the floor. Lexa sat up and stood off the bed, her adrenaline making her completely forget her gunshot wound that was throbbing in her abdomen. She crossed her arms as she stood by the bed, putting on the face of the commander.

"You can cut the act, Titus." Lexa said with a stern voice, leaving a long pause before she spit out his name. Titus lifted his eyes from the floor and dropped his hands from his face, putting them behind his back as he stood firmly.

"Heda," his normal voice returned, "you must believe that I am deeply sorry for the trouble that I have caused you."

"I'm sure you are." Lexa spoke with no change in her emotion, unaccepting of his apology. The room stood quiet for a moment before Lexa spoke again, "Have you already gone out to try and find a replacement for me, flamekeeper?" She rose her head in authority.

"That's my job, Heda." He replied and opened his mouth to speak once more before Lexa cut him off.

"Your job was to protect me!" She yelled, walking towards him. "yet you questioned my actions, you questioned my loyalty," she continued getting closer to him as she yelled; a prominent vein popping out of her neck, "and you questioned my ability."

Lexa had filled most of the gap between her and Titus. Titus grew fearful, quite unsure how to react.

"I had every right to question your actions." Titus responded, confident in his opinion, "you were getting out of hand, and something had to be done."

"So you thought killing me would be the best solution?" Lexa asked and raised her head in question.

"I never meant for you to die Lexa," He paused for a moment unsure if he should continue, "it was Clarke that I was after."

Lexa, who was unaware of his original motives, widened her eyes in a mixture of fear, confusion, and anger. She glanced over at Clarke and they locked eyes. Clarke's face was soft, not holding much emotion. That whole time, Lexa had forgotten that she was there and seeing Clarke only made Titus's words infuriate her more. Lexa turned back to look at Titus, disgust and anger poured from her pores.

"You were after Clarke." She said to Titus through her teeth as her intense gaze shredded through him.

"I told you something had to be done," Titus now also yelled, "your feelings for her were getting in the way of your success as the commander. Our people were already suffering from your actions since Clarke arrived. You cannot love her and lead your people at the same time, the consequences would be far to great."

"And who are you to tell me something needed to be done!? They are my people, Titus; you are my subject! I am the commander, no one tells me how to do my job!" Once again, the room stood silent for a few moments and Lexa used that quiet to collect herself. "Now leave Titus" she added in a calmer manner, "and tell no one about my return."

Titus did a slight bow as before he turned to walk out the door. Before he exited, he glanced at Clarke, giving her a displeasing look as she closed the door behind him. Clarke turned her body towards Lexa, looking at her with gentle eyes.

"Clarke, I had no idea he was trying to hurt you, why hadn't you said anything?" Lexa spoke as she walked towards Clarke, who was still standing by the door.

"It isn't something that I want you to worry about. He was just angry and irrational, I would have gotten the gun away from him"

"How can you be sure?"

"Well for starters, his aim is terrible" Clarke answered as she looked down at Lexa's wound, trying to lighten the mood, "sorry, too soon?" Lexa smiled slightly and decided to play along.

"I'm glad I was the one who was shot. If it was up to me to save you from bleeding out, you'd be dead."

Clarke let out a small giggle which was interrupted by a force-full yet quick kiss. Lexa pulled back, her hand still cupping Clarkes cheek as she intensely gazed in her eyes.

"I'm still sorry."

Clarke slightly bit her bottom lip and nodded, resting her head further in Lexa's hand as her thumb caressed her cheek. Lexa loved how she could be so vulnerable with Clarke. Letting her guard down, while terrifying at first, overall felt like a breath of fresh air. Clarke reminded Lexa that she can be human and not just the machine Titus and the rest of her people wanted her to be. Letting herself feel, was something Lexa did very rarely; it was a rare occurrence when she was young. Clarke showed Lexa the rawist version of herself and it healed all the wounds she has collected in the past.

"Hey," Clarke interrupted Lexa's thoughts "what's going on up there?" she tapped Lexa's forehead causing a smile to erupt on Lexa's face. Lexa's smile was contagious, because whenever she smiled, Clarke smiled.

"Top secret." Lexa replied raising her eyebrows.

There was a loud knock at the door.

"Heda, Heda!" grounders chanted from outside. Lexa sighed, dropping her hand from Clarke cheek. Yes, she wanted to get back to her people as that was very important to her. On the other hand, these last 15 hours with just Clarke was pure bliss. Lexa wondered if this is how it would be if their lives were normal and they didn't have both of their people as a third party in their relationship.

"It's time" Clarke spoke with a slight smile. Lexa saw in her eyes that Clarke felt the same; she didn't want to leave their little paradise either, but it was time and they both knew it. Lexa walked closer to the door and held the handle, looking back at Clarke before she opened it. Clarke nodded giving Lexa the reassurance she needed. With the nod, Lexa turned the handle and the threw the door open.

 **It's coming close on the three year anniversary of Lexa's death** **. I can't believe it's been that long, I miss her so much.**

 **Thanks for reading, feel free to review xoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

Lexa stood in-between the two open doors with pride and self-assurance. Her stance showed the fellow grounders standing before her that she was still the commander and she shall still be obeyed; almost scared them into believing nothing had changed. The crowd bowed to her then remained silent as they were waiting for her to speak, but she just stood there while her gaze remained forward.

"Heda…" A sole grounder croaked, "what do we do know Heda?"

Clarke, who was still standing in the corner behind the door, out of the grounder's gazes, stayed silent. She was also questioning why Lexa had not yet spoken and was tempted to make sure she was alright. Clarke quickly shoved that thought away, remembering that Lexa didn't need her like that at this moment. With that, Clarke swallowed her tongue and patiently waited for Lexa to begin. Another grounder began to speak before Lexa abruptly quieted him with the raise of her hand.

"Shof op," Lexa began, "Tell Titus to round up the ambassadors, I have a message I want them to hear" Her stern eyes and slight furrow of her brow brought back her commander persona, and Clarke could now see that it was something Lexa wasn't willing on letting go. The grounders all nodded and dispersed as Lexa folded her arms behind her back as she watched them leave, careful to hold a disciplinary stance; to not fold and to not show weakness. Lexa was eager to show her people that she'd risen more powerful than she once was, and she hoped to scare people into her rule. More importantly, she wanted to show herself how strong she is and could be. Confessing her love to Clarke was just the beginning. Clarke… she remembered… was timidly standing where Lexa had left her. Lexa's rigid face fell into a soft smile as she looked over at Clarke and it allowed Clarke to release the breath, she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"What do you need to tell the ambassadors?" Clarke asked, impatiently wanting to know the answer. Lexa walked over to Clarke, her stern posture but soft face reminded Clarke of the time Lexa told her she was going to fight Roan. Clarke knew that whatever Lexa was going to do, it was filled with blinded confidence. Clarke began to worry but not enough to let it show on her face because she also knew that Lexa was smart and knew what she would be doing.

"I'm kicking them out of my alliance." Lexa spoke with confidence as she looked at Clarke's eyes widen.

"Lexa.. you… " Clarke stammered as she shook her head, "You can't just do that." Lexa cocked her head in confusion of Clarke's doubt.

"But I can" Lexa spoke, the firmness back in her voice. She turned away from Clarke as she swayed over to a table in the corner of the room and picked up a bowl containing black paint.

"At what cost? Think of what will happen when you break this apart. The wars that will erupt." Clarke spoke as Lexa dipped her fingers in the paint and began to deftly create streaks around her eyes.

"They need me more than I need them, Clarke. They'll be begging for reentry."

"How can you be so sure?" Clarke wondered.

"I rose from death. If they didn't obey me before, the fear they hold from this event will have them crawling." Lexa finished painting her face with one last streak down her cheek. She could tell Clarke was concerned, what Lexa is planning on doing is bold. Probably bolder than anything she's done before. However, Lexa is convinced it will work. She is convinced that the fear of her coming back to life and the fear of the clans being out of her protection will make them surrender to her and Clarkes new ideas. Clarke still shook her head in disbelief. Clarke wanted to be supportive, but she couldn't watch Lexa tear the world apart, especially when it would deeply cost her people.

"My people…. Lexa, if this doesn't work, my people will be slaughtered."

"What's stopping them from doing it right now? Or when I was dead? The ambassadors of the twelve clans are cowards Clarke. They thrive on submission. Without me, they are nothing, they have no power. That is why you must not worry, no war is going to break out."

Clarke stood in silence for a moment, thinking. Lexa could tell without Clarke even having to say word, that she was upset. Clarke doesn't know the ambassadors. Lexa on the other hand, has had to deal with them her whole life, even before she was called to lead her people. The ambassadors of the clans are just like her; they just want what's best for their people, but Lexa also knows with great confidence that being kicked out of the alliance would be too big a price for them to pay.

"Clarke," Lexa started again as she walked closer, "Please just trust me." That was all Lexa could say. She doesn't have a reason Clarke would understand that would make Clarke trust her. The only way Clarke was going to believe this would work is if she had known the ambassadors; it makes sense to Lexa that Clarke doesn't trust them, they wanted to kill her and her people ever since their ship arrived on the ground. Clarke, who was previously nervously biting her lip, stopped and looked up the find Lexa's gaze. Clarke sighed before she spoke:

"You better be sure about this."

Lexa's eyes slightly brightened, and the left side of her face curled up into a half smile.

"Thank you." She simply responded; she knew she wasn't going to let Clarke down, but she also knew that Clarke was still anxious, and it pained Lexa to know that. Clarke has done enough worrying for a lifetime in Lexa's opinion. Lexa's eyes shifted up and away from Clarke when she heard someone clear his throat by the open doors. Titus.

"Uh Heda, they are ready for you." He calmly spoke, took a quick but small bow, and left the room. Clarke, who had turned her head to look back at Titus, turned her head back towards Lexa. Lexa put her hands behind her back and stood tall.

"Well," she sighed, "Best to not keep them waiting."

 **We are about a month past the three year anniversary and I'm still devastated. Season 6 is drawing near and I'm still not going to watch it until there is word of Lexa's return. Thanks for reading xoxo, tell me if you like it and if I should keep going. This story is kind of dead on this site, so just let me know if you want to read more.**


	11. Chapter 11

Lexa shuffled her way out of the room while Clarke tentatively followed. She followed from a distance, almost as if she didn't want it to seem obvious her and Lexa were an item. Little did she know, it was already widely known and had been even before Lexa's death incident. Lexa respected Clarkes space. With what she was about to spring upon the ambassadors, Lexa understood Clarke wanted to cause the least amount of trouble as possible. Being a part of Lexa's plan from the get-go would only make the ambassadors angrier. As of right now, the twelve clans want nothing to do with Clarke or the sky people; Lexa is confident that her new plan will fix that. Her and Clarke didn't talk all the way to the meeting room and still remained a great distance apart when they reached the double doors. The two guards standing on the two sides of the door gave Lexa a quick nod before they each grabbed a handle, hauling the heavy doors open. Lexa took a step forward before briefly stopping, taking a moment to look at each one of the twelve ambassadors; her eyes scooping out details. The twelve rose to greet her with nods as Lexa entered further into the room, walking towards the throne centered in the back. She stepped up the steps and turned around, hands behind her back, and gave the twelve a nod in return allowing them to be seated. Lexa took a seat too and just as she did, Clarke entered the room and Lexa's eyes shot up to look at Clarke. It took everything in Lexa to hold back a faint smile when Clarkes darting eyes settled upon Lexa's gaze.

"Clarke," Lexa began, "How nice of you to join us." Lexa now allowed a faint smile to creep across her face. Clarke cleared her throat and nodded as she walked to stand next to Titus, left of Lexa's throne. As she did so, she did her best to ignore the ambassador's glares and scowls. Lexa noticed immediately and took action upon their behavior

"There is no need for you to mistreat Clarke. She's the one that saved me and brought me back from the dead. She never gave up, never lost hope," Lexa turned her head to look only at Clarke, "She's practically unstoppable". Lexa watched as Clarke failed to hold back a smile before she turned her head to now address everyone in the room, "She is the reason I am standing before you now. If you fail to accept her or her people, then I will dismiss you from my alliance and alienate you from recourses and protection." Lexa voice was stern, and her posture was formal. She watched the room break out into a series of mumbles she couldn't make out and scowls she didn't accept. It only took the flick of Lexa's hand in the air to make the room go silent.

"And if you dare to defy me," she added making sure to make direct eye contact with each of the twelve, "I will have you and your people slaughtered."

Clarkes face fell in disbelief as the room erupted in cries. Lexa leaned back in her chair and let the loud voices continue, satisfied with her little speech. Meanwhile, tears began to form in Clarkes eyes as she was unaware of the disloyal clans' executions. Titus shook his head and leaned over to whisper into Clarkes ear,

"You're going to get us all killed." He said, his voice filled with anger. Clarke turned her head to look up at him, fearful.

"This wasn't my idea. I didn't want this." Clarke's voice cracked the slightest as she was shocked and trying to hold back her emotions. Titus offered up a slight giggle, which Clarke didn't understand.

"You'll do anything to keep yourself and your people safe, Clarke. And now, she will too." He began and inched a little closer, "love is weakness; your love for each other will destroy us all."

Clarke didn't want to listen to Titus, but she now saw he was right, about this anyway. Lexa's judgement seemed clouded, but she couldn't find any words to speak. Three out of the twelve ambassador's spit at the floor, imagining it was the commander.

"Heda, you can't be serious. You'd choose these…" the Floukru ambassador spoke looking at Clarke and paused before he spit out the rest of his sentence, "invaders, over this alliance. The alliance that you and the spirits have worked so hard to achieve."

"You were an invader once; you and your people weren't always welcome. Tell me, what do you have that Clarke doesn't?" Lexa spoke, raising an eyebrow.

"She fell from the sky commander, her way of living is untrustworthy and unreliable" He spoke again, his eyes rested on Clarkes face. Some of the other ambassadors nodded their heads in agreement. Lexa grew red in the face as she watched the room oppose her. She flew out of her throne, eyebrows furrowed, and fist clenched.

"How DARE you all sit here and defy me. The sight is repulsive. I AM THE COMMANDER. I make the rules, I decide how things are done." Her eyes bulged, and her neck veins were prominent. She looked madder than when she yelled at Titus earlier. Clarke could see it; Lexa was done being treated like she was less than she was. "If any of you voluntarily walk out of this room, I will have you killed, along with a massacre of your town." Lexa continued, her demeanor a little calmer than before. Lexa was absolutely done with their disobedience and she wasn't going to take it lightly, her last few sentences proved that to be true. The stirred-up ambassadors not wanting to risk their safety, or the safety of their people sat down, their moods still sour. Clarke let out the air she was holding in her lungs and Titus took a loud swallow of relief next to her. Lexa sighed in ease, let her face fall out of its tough expression for just for a second as she got comfortable in her throne. Her and Clarke hadn't looked at each other through that breakout, and quite honestly neither of them could look at each other without breaking down. Clarke blinked the tears from her eyes and Lexa slightly pursed her lips before taking a deep breath.

"Alright, lets discuss the new addition to our alliance." Lexa began and the ambassadors listened.


	12. Chapter 12

Lexa barged into her sleeping corridor, Clarke and Titus reluctantly following behind her. Lexa didn't speak; instead she walked behind the wall which contained her washing facilities. Clarke and Titus stood in silence until Lexa returned, her paint freshly removed leaving her bare face. Clarke loved it, it was Lexa at her most vulnerable. Clarke relaxed at the sight, but Titus still stood firmly next to her. Lexa walked over and stood in front of them.

"Well," she spoke as her eyebrow rose and she looked directly at Titus, "Go ahead, spit it out"

Titus grunted in disbelief,

"What do you think you have done? Lexa you can't massacre their towns! You have no army without them. They are your army!"

"I know what I'm doing Titus. I knew they would accept the threat and they did. Problem solved. The blockade will still be enforced as soon as Clarke leaves," she raised her eyebrow and finished with a snarky tone, "as you suggested before."

"Your feelings for Clarke," he looked at Clarke, who was trying to take it all in, and back at Lexa, "are clouding your judgement. Blood MUST have blood. A blockade isn't enough."

"I will not hear this again Titus. I've decided what I'm going to do so we will wait. Like Clarke said before, her army will take out Pike from the inside, we just need to give them time."

"You're being naïve, Lexa. These actions won't fail to get you killed." Lexa's eyes snapped up as Titus spoke that last sentence.

"GET out" She snarled through her teeth. Before Titus left, he gave Clarke one last displeasing look and left, the guards closing the doors behind him.

Lexa held back her emotions as Titus had made her angry.

"Well," Lexa softly looked at Clarke swallowing the anger from the past conversation, "I guess you should leave."

"Is that what you want?" Clarke questioned, a calmness in her voice.

"No, of course not. Contrary to Titus's beliefs, you'll be safer here than there, but it just seems like the right move to make."

Clarke lowered her eyes to the ground. She didn't want to leave.

"Clarke…?" Lexa added. Clarkes raised her eyes to look back at Lexa, "I have a proposition to make."

Clarke cocked her head, "What is it?"

Lexa gulped loudly before she spoke, "I want you to co-lead with me."

Clarkes eyes widened.

"You can't be serious."

Lexa nodded, "I am. It's the only alternative to you staying on this side of the blockade and to enforce blood must not have blood."

"You want me to help me lead your people?"

"Our people."

Clarke's stomach dropped as she kept thinking of all the ways this could backfire and how she couldn't possibly be fit to lead a coalition. Lexa noticed her doubt.

"I wouldn't ask you to do this Clarke if I didn't think you had it in you. If I am going to enforce blood must not have blood, I need you by my side. You are a part of the changing future."

Clarke still stood in silence, unable to respond as her brain couldn't collect the correct words. Lexa approached Clarke and laid her hand on Clarkes cheek. Clarke looked away as her nervousness made it difficult to look into Lexa's eyes. Lexa dropped her hand to Clarkes chin and nudged to bring Clarkes gaze back to her.

"You said it yourself, the only way we are all going to stay alive is jus drein no jus daun. The only way we can achieve this peace for our people is together and you know this."

Deep down Clarke was honored that Lexa wanted to lead with her, especially since there has never been a co-commander. Commanders have always been alone. Lexa is defying her people's way of thinking in ways Clarke could have never imagined. Lexa was right, Clarke did know she would need to co-command, she has been since she arrived at Polis, since Lexa bowed to her. Making it official would be the only change, and it needs to be a positive one.

"This better work Lexa. I can't lose more of my people than I already have." Lexa gave a small nod in return.

"It will. I trust you Clarke, if you believe that skykru will take Pike out then I believe it too. Once this all plays out, we can begin our new legacy."

Lexa's words captivated Clarke. To think that Lexa was putting all her trust in Clarke made Clarke confident that this really could work.

 **Just to be clear, Lexa isn't actually going to massacre the clans, its just a threat. She still wants peace, blood must not have blood. The reason I wrote that in there was simply because she HAD to prove what she is still capable of, that she still wasn't going to take any shit. That she is still the Commander.**


End file.
